Happy 3rd Birthday Princess Ella!!

I will never forget the day our beautiful Ella came into our lives. She was challenging us right from the start. First after a 19 hour labor, we had to push for 3 hours for her to join us. (stubborn already maybe??) I will never forget 2:17pm on November 2nd. The moment of hearing her cry and the feeling of relief that is was over. The pregnancy, the waiting, the anticipation, the wondering, the anxiety. Now I get to see my beautiful baby's face and start the wild crazy anxiety filled ride of Parenthood.



I'll never forget my shock at how big you were. Almost 8.10??? And how long you were- 21.5 inches! You also had the biggest newborn feet I had ever seen! a size 1.5!! The nurses (and your Auntie Lisa) were calling you flipper. No wonder I was uncomfortable!! When I got to hold you for the first time, I broke down with the most raw emotion I have ever experienced.



I'll never forget the nurse saying we have to go, and grabbing you out of my arms and running with you down the hallway. I'll never forget holding your Daddy's hand as they told us you had suffered some trauma during the delivery and that you couldn't breathe on your own. I'll never forget the look on your Daddy's face when he thought he was about to lose yet another person he loved in this world, or the fear in his voice when he asked the doctor if you were going to survive. The doctor just looked at us and said, I can't guarantee that. The first 48 hours will be critical. About 2 hours later they wheeled you into my hospital room in a large plastic capsule and the helicopter flight crew told me they were taking you to a different hospital so you could get the care you needed. They raised my bed about 6 ft off the ground so that I could peek in at you and touch your little fingers and whisper goodbye before you left and tell you to be brave and that Mommy loved you and would be with you as soon as I could.



By the time I got out of the hospital and raced to see you at Banner Desert, Daddy was sitting with you and had already brought you a stuffed doggy to keep you from getting lonely. You spent 11 days in the Neo-natal Intensive Care Unit at Banner Desert Hospital. Mommy and Daddy (and Nana and Grandpa and Auntie Lisa) visited you multiple times a day. It was so hard leaving you to go home each time. It was even harder spending my days and nights at home looking at an empty nursery and an empty belly.




The NICU is an interesting place. I would stand there feeling sorry for myself only to hear the doctors break the news to some parents that their baby didn't make it. Or to see a mother showering and brushing her teeth after spending all night with her baby who had been in the NICU so long he was in a real crib and was standing up in it. And I thought about all the other parents whose babies were never going to come home and I decided right then and there to stop feeling sorry for myself and to be thankful that my baby was going to make it. And make it you did!



Not only did you make it, my angel, but you have far exceeded every expectation I have ever had about children! From walking at 10mos to talking at 12mos to singing entire nursery rhymes at 18mos to starting your terrible twos at 19 mos. To becoming a big sister, to potty training, to starting pre-school, and oh yes, to starting your three's early too! You keep us on our toes so much. Thank you for teaching me how to be a Mom, how to love unconditionally, and BE LOVED unconditionally. Thank you for letting me experience the joys of my own childhood ALL OVER AGAIN by seeing the excitement and the wonder and amazement in your own eyes. Thank you for being so mature, and so bright, and so much older than your actual age, but staying my baby and staying so needy on me at the same time. Thank you for being good to your friends and for being a good Big Sister to Ryen. There was a time I couldn't imagine you in my life and now I cant imagine what my life would be like without you.

Finally, here is an alphabet for you to read one day my love and it describes you as you are right now at age three:

A- Audacious
B- Beautiful
C- Caring
D- Difficult
E- Engaging
F- FUNNY
G- Good Natured
H- High Maintenance
I- Intelligent
J- Jealous
K- Kind
L- Laughable
M- Mature
N- Needy
O- Obsessive Compulsive
P- Playful
Q- Queen of DRAMA
R- Ridiculous
S- SMART
T- Tiring
U- Unique
V- Vulnerable
W- Wide-eyed
X- X-HAUSTING! lol
Y- Youthful
Z- Zany