Sunday, June 7, 2009

Separation Anxiety

Ahhh, separation anxiety can be one of the most frustrating parts of Motherhood. But for me, it is also one of my favorites! (selfishly) Ryen woke up tonight at about 8:15pm about 2 hours after she went to bed. This is the 4th night in a row she has done this. Normally I just pop her binky in her mouth and give her a tag to play with on her blanket and she is good to go. But tonight when I tried to walk out of the room she started crying. I walked back over to the crib and she reached for my hand.... sigh...

I held her hand and she drifted off to sleep. When I thought she was out, I tried to walk out again. She must have opened her eyes and seen I was gone, and she started crying again ( I hadn't even made it out the door yet). I walked over to her crib again and again she reached for me. It was sad but beautiful at the same time. These phases can be really frustrating but this is also when I feel the most like a Mom! I watched her sleep and stroked her head. I held her hand, and watched as she jerked her eyes open to keep checking if I was there. It was so sad, that she was so afraid I would leave her. I scooped her out of her crib and rocked her in the rocking chair while she snuggled against me and kept rubbing her hand up and down my arm.

Normally I would have been in such a rush to get her back to sleep to go hang out with Jimmy or to write on my blog or to watch the premier of Army Wives. But tonight I thought about my friends who lost their twins and Susan's message to hold your babies close and hug them a little bit tighter and take the time to appreciate them, and I did just that. I rocked her without looking at the clock, without caring about what else I could/should be doing and it felt great. Once she was settled down and back to sleep I placed her in her crib. Last night my Ry Bunny also woke me up at 11pm (exactly 21 minutes after I crawled into bed for the night completely exhausted) and I had to feed her to settle her back to sleep. I am sure this is probably going to happen again tonight but really who can say no to this face...?

I will continue to think of my friends Matt and Susan, and tonight I will look forward to it, instead of dreading it. Good night all.



  1. BIG NEWS! I can't wait, please say your pregnant again lol. I think it is sweet that Ryen loves you so much. She must sense when you are gone. What a great bond you to have.

  2. Aggghhh what a tease!!!! What is your big news??? Anyways, I think that is a special part of being a parent. Sometimes we get so busy that we miss out on these moments to hold our kids and relish in them being a baby/toddler/prescholer/whatever. I am glad that you got to have that moment with Ryen!!!

  3. Love your blog! You're so creative. All I have time for is to post pictures and I'm lucky if I do that even once a month. Oh, the baby acne showed up this week on Rory. I knew it was coming because Owen had it, too. Take care and I'll check back for the big news. Rebekah