Monday, June 1, 2009

Seriously? WTF!

Why? that is all I can ask myself right now as I feel the tears welling up in my eyes and I am trying so hard to keep them from falling. Why?

A couple weeks ago I posted a very emotional story about my first childhood crush John passing away, and how tragic that was for his identical twin Matt. I posted about what a waste it was, and how I always worried and watched Matt from afar hoping he would land on his feet, and be able to live a happy life. How I always felt a bond with him, having a twin of my own...

I was over the moon when I found out Matt and his wife Susan were having identical twin boys of their own! Seemed to me like the Universe was correcting a VERY BIG WRONG from 16 years ago. I thought maybe it was John's interference or influence, and I couldn't wait for Matt to experience identical twin boys from a very different perspective and to relive some of his own childhood and relive some of his memories with his brother.

WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with the Universe? Today I found out that Matt's wife Susan went into premature labor yesterday. The doctors couldn't stop it and the babies were too small and young to survive. Needless to say he and his wife are devastated. I don't understand why some people have to be given so much sadness. I have seen what so much sadness can do to a person first hand, as my own husband has experienced more than most.

I feel completely deflated like the air has been let out of my lungs and it is hard to breathe in. I just don't get it. And so my tears are spilling over no matter how hard I try to keep them in. And I find myself thinking of my friend Matt again, 16 years later and saying "It is just not fair" AGAIN!!!


  1. There are no words to say how terrible this is. For everyone. No one should ever have to go through the loss of a sibling and/or child. I wish there was something that could be done to make it better or feel better at least. But words right now just aren't enough.

    I will pray for them and please let us know if there is anything else we can do to help.

  2. I am so sorry. That is just awful and my heart is going out to your friend and his wife right now. Please let me know if there is anything they or you might need during this sad time.

  3. The only thing that helps me through times like these is to know that God has a plan and purpose for all of us. Maybe there was something wrong with the babies and that is why she has them too early. Maybe he needed them to stay in Heaven with him. I don't know, but I do know that there is a reason and purpose for all of these things to happen and your friend and his wife will see their babies again someday. I KNOW THEY WILL. Keep the faith.